Saturday, September 29, 2007

What do you do with problems?

Well? What do you do with problems?

The intuitive answer is "solve them." I bet this is what you said - solve them, find a solution.

But here's my question to you - is that really what you do with problems? When you run into a problem at work, at home, at school, etc., do you start thinking of a solution, or if you can find one, start implementing it? Is that really your first thought? Be honest.

In my random observations of human beings and human behavior, I have found one thing to be almost universally true. The first thing most people do when they run into a problem is to COMPLAIN about it. When we find something that's not working, we complain, we whine, we find someone to blame, we ask who's fault it is, etc. Now it's important to find out why something went wrong, but not to place blame, but rather to prevent the same thing from happening again. But our first approach to any problem should be to find a solution. If you find the printer is jammed, don't just stand there and complain about the general incompetence of the people who should be taking care of the equipment, or how this is going to mess your day, etc. Unjam the printer, and if you can't, find another one, and move on with your day. If the toilet is clogged, don't start whining about how unsanitary everything is, and how people need to drink more water to not clog the toilet - find a plunger and unclog it, or find another toilet, call maintenance, or the plumber, and move on with your day. I could go on and on with examples, and I know you can add your own.

Why am I talking about this? After all, isn't complaining just part of human nature? Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. But do you have any idea how much energy is takes to complain? And how unproductive it is? Solving the problem is such a better way to spend your time and energy! It's such a better way to get your creative energies going and to be a positive influence in your environment.

If you are going to be successful in life it's important that you close the spout of complaints and whines, and open the fount of creative problem-solving energy in your life. Even if you only run into small problems like a clogged toilet, or a misplaced pen, promise yourself that you won't complain, but will instead find a solution. Try to do this intentionally each time you run into a problem, and you will start to notice a change in your thinking, your energy, your life, and the people around you.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Don't feel sorry for yourself - the perils of self pity!

One of the keys to living successfully and developing a strong sense of self, in my opinion, is to not feel sorry for yourself.

Does that mean you can't be sad? No. Does that mean you can't cry? No. Absolutely not. You CAN feel sad, you CAN cry, that's okay. These are useful emotions and acts. It's an appropriate response when we're hurt, or when bad things happen.

What you absolutely should get out of the habit of doing is feeling sorry for yourself. I use the word "habit" intentionally, because we all have the occasional bout of self-pity, of feeling sorry for ourselves, and that's okay. But chronic and constant self-pity is one of the most demoralizing emotions that you can indulge in. It puts you in a position of weakness and can easily spiral you down the road to depression if you aren't careful.

Why do people indulge in self-pity when it feels so bad? Well, one big reason is because it gets attention. Whining about your lot in life gets you attention. People listen to you, they pay attention to you, feel sorry for you, perhaps even try to do what they think will make you happy... at least at first. And for some people, especially people who crave attention, that can feel good, because it fills a need that they have. But in the long run, you run out of an audience, and no one wants to listen to you or to be around you anymore, because listening to self-deprecating and self-pitying talk can be depressing to the listener. Most people want to be around upbeat people, positive people, people who are living positive lives, and changing things around them.

So if you want to be successful, start by stopping. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, stop whining, stop pouring your sob story to any ears around you. Be positive, be real, be strong. Find the good and work on it. Don't fake it, don't pretend it's okay when it's not. It's okay to not be okay. Strive for balance. If you're sad, say you're sad, but that you're working your way throught, it and move on to something else, something better, something positive.

One of the keys to success - stop feeling sorry for yourself!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Getting off track and what to do about it

A big part of the process to attaining success in life is recognizing when you're losing track. The second side to that coin is taking steps to get back on track.

It's been a while since I posted on this blog. I've been engrossed in a lot of different personal and business ventures that I got distracted from carrying on with my thought process and sharing my thoughts on success and what it means, and what you have to do to get on the road to being successful. And I recognize this. So this post is my first step... recognizing that I have lost track.

The second step, as I mentioned above, is taking steps to get back on track. I am working hard not to lose the introspective part of myself as I get busier and busier. Today I want to share with you an interesting post that I read. I will share my thoughts with you about this in my next post, but first I want to encourage you to read it and think on it, especially on the last few paragraphs. The post is from a personal blog and is titled On school and the NCLEX-RN Predictor Exam, and in it the author reflects on taking a calculated risk and the lessons derived from it.

Read it and share your thoughts with me.